The Gilmore Nextdoor
by Daine-Weirynsra
Summary: Grans in town for a party, no not a party for Emily’s death, a dedication of an obscenely amount of money to a charity. Problem is that our dear Lorelai needs someone to go with. But she has just broken up with Jason. Now that sounds a little weak but tha
1. Gram, Flowers, and a Stolen Gnome

Disclaimer-Although I wish I owned Gilmore Girls I do not. But hey I'm use to disappointment.

O.K. now this is my first fic written entirely by myself and the weird voices in my head. So please keep that in mind. I bet you're wanting summary so here it is!

Grans in town for a party, no not a party for Emily's death, a dedication of an obscenely amount of money to a charity. Problem is that our dear Lorelai needs someone to go with. But she has just broken up with Jason. Now that sounds a little weak but that is not the whole plot. Couples are well mostly just L/L and if you can't figure that out well let's say Java Junkies if you don't get that… I'm sorry I got nothin' you'll just have to read.

Also FYI this takes place right after 'Luke Can See Her Face'. I changed it though and I have to say I can't wait to write the pre opening opening of the inn. (Spoiler- There's going to be a fight between Luke and Jason)

Now on to the story!

Chapter 1: Gran, Flowers, and a Stolen Gnome

Lorelai Gilmore ran about the house closely followed by her daughter, Rory. "Where are my shoes! I can't go without shoes! It would be like around naked except it's only your feet," Lorelai protested tripping over a box of none other than junk food. "Junk food how could you betray me," she moaned getting up.

"Mom are those your shoes?" asked Rory a grin on her face as she pointed to the pair of shoes in her mothers hand.

"What…" Lorelai looked down to see her desired shoes. "You Yale students think you're so smart," she stated rolling her eyes.

Lorelai looked at her watch "Now I'm really late my mothers going to have my butt fried." She hopped out of the house while putting on her shoes. "Bye hun' I'll be back by 5"

"Bye! Say hi to Gram," Rory closed the door behind her mother and laughed Thank_ god for crazy mothers._

Outside

Babette rushed to Lorelai as she walked to her Jeep.

"Norbert's missing!" Babette shouted in her rough voice.

"Who?" asked Lorelai.

"My gnome! Ya know the one with the green hat and orange shirt who's sittin on a that freaky lookin mushroom," she insisted pulling Lorelai's arm.

"I'm sorry Babette but I'm in kind of a rush, but Rory's home." That would show how funny it was to mock your mom.

As Babette ran into her house Lorelai made a run for her car and almost made it to just be stopped 2 feet from it by Kirk. "I'm supposed to give these to you," he stated handing her a huge bunch of flowers.

"Kirk, wow thanks but I thought I had already made it clear that I didn't feel that way about you."

"No I know this is just a temp job. Mom discovered the home shopping channel. They're from Luke. You must be special he's never even sent a fruit basket to someone before. Oh and a card came with it," Kirk handed her a simple white card and left.

Lorelai opened the card to see 'These are for you- Luke'_ How odd_. But she had no time to wait she was extremely late now.

Hartford

Lorelai walked up to the front step and was just about to knock on the door when it swung open. "You're late!" Emily stated frazzled as ever. "I've been with her 10 mins. and she has already insulted me! She is such a bitter old woman."

She strolled into the sitting room. Lorelai followed closely behind her still snickering at how easily Gran could get her mother in a bad mood.

"Lorelai, How wonderful to see you. I trust you're in good health." Stated an elderly woman often called Gran.

"Right as ever. But if I could ask you something…" Lorelai said sitting down on a couch.

"Yes you may. At least you inquire if you may inquire unlike your mother," Gran stated nobly.

"It was just about…," Emily cut in.

"That is very rude to interrupt a discussion Emily," Gran stated in distaste. "Please continue Lorelai."

"Why are you in town exactly?" Lorelai asked trying to keep a straight face after seeing her mother's furious expression.

"You went straight to the point. Well I have come in due to a charity, which I have donated an obscene amount of money and it is having an event in order to bring in more donations. That is why I have asked you to join me I would like you and a courtier to come to this event. Perhaps that Jason fellow could come?" asked the eldest woman her old eyes knowing.

"Gran, Jason and I just broke up"

Gran nodded her suspicion confirmed. "The event will take place in one month and I am sure you will be able to have some other gentleman to escort you." Gran said with a charming smile.

Lorelai got up and was about to leave when Gran added, "And once you find that man I would like to meet him."

Lorelai nodded and left getting in her Jeep, she stared down at her flowers. She knew exactly who she would ask.

I know short but seriously how was it? Good, bad, oh my god I want to go and commit murder on the author who could put this up on this site. Well may be not that harsh ;

But please R&R! Now it's time for me to go to Bed…. Waite oh yah I promise more comedy in the next chapters….. Must … make it…. to bed…………… ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz


	2. Coffee, Horses, Flying Duck Dong Tackle

Disclaimer- Nope I'm still Gilmoreless. (smirk) Except for all of seasons 1, 2, and 3...

(This story is now officially beta-ed by Amaruk Wolfheart of the Wraith. Because I rock. Yeah… ;) )

I'm so touched that I already have seven reviews! Yes, I know last chapter was short and I miss spelled Rory, but I would like to bring up one point: I typed that at 12 pm. That's actually when I do my typing sometimes. (That's when I can't sleep). But enough of my useless babbling. Anyways…...ON WITH THE STORY!

Special Thanks to Rusty for bein' my first reviewer on this fic and so I dedicate this Chapter to you!

Chapter Two- Coffee, Horses, and the Flying Duck Dong Tackle

Luke Danes stood behind the counter in his diner.

"Are you going to order? Or perhaps you just came here to study my menus," he stated, staring down at one of his customers.

"Just give me two more minutes," the man insisted.

"I did give you two more minutes, and I gave you five more minutes before that, and yeah guess what! I gave you ten more minutes before that!" Luke glared daggers at the "unknowing" customer.

"I'll have a cup of coffee."

"Wow, it's a miracle! You actually made a choice before I turned sixty," the disgruntled owner said while he scribbled down the order.

The bells on the door to 'Luke's Diner' clang as Lorelai entered. She found an empty table and sat down.

Luke came over, "So what do you want?" He took out his pad and a pen. Looking down Luke saw the card that he had sent her with the flowers.

Noticing this, Lorelai smiled. "Yeah, I got the flowers. They're really nice."

"Well… I thought… you would like… them," Luke said, blushing.

Lorelai tried to keep a straight face. There were few faces that she would put in her 'extremely funny faces that Luke makes' mental file, but this would be one of them.

Luke glanced up and out of the window to see Taylor, strangely enough, with horses. "What the Hell?" He walked out, murder on his mind.

"Why hello Luke! What brings you out on this fine morning?" Taylor asked in his ridiculous 'Candy Man' suit.

"Why the heck are there horses in front of my diner!"

"Well, they couldn't exactly live in the candy shop and with that new ice cream truck I can't exactly have them in front of _my_ shop, _so_ I thought the next logical place would be here."

"No, the next logical place would be the GLUE FACTORY!" yelled Luke, loosing to his urge to Flying Duck Dong Tackle Taylor.

"No need to get defensive. It's just I have had this dream to have a horse drawn vehicle that will allow us to deliver ice cream to homes everywhere. Now you don't want to disappoint the children do you?" Taylor asked.

"Well they'll have to get used to disappointment," Luke gritted his teeth he was now on the verge of choking Taylor.

"You know that Lorelai would like this," Taylor said trying to seem harmless. If anything it made Luke even closer to being one of the (1) merry murderers in the cell block tango.

"No," Luke stated, "she wouldn't." His fists were shaking.

"You know she just uses your friendship to get what she wants."

That was it. All of Luke-dom broke loose as Luke tackled Taylor. Taylor's protests were loudly voiced as was Luke's nonsense mumbling.

Lorelai was the first one out of Luke's Diner to the 'scene'. Shocked she crouched down beside Luke. "Luke stop! Please I don't need to bail you from jail again."

She got Luke up and away from Taylor to see, to her dismay, that in his struggle Taylor had cut Luke in the hand hard enough to draw blood.

Trying to ignore the blood she pulled Luke away from the Diner and away from the crowd. "Luke are you OK?" Lorelai asked.

"Yeah."

"Well if you don't… Luke come on," Lorelai grabbed his arm and pulled him into her Jeep.

"Where are we going? You're not taking me to the hospital?" Luke started to fidget.

"No, I'm taking you to my place. You're bleeding. Plus it seems you need some time to cool down," Lorelai turned on the ignition and drove off.

At the Gilmore Residence

Lorelai came in with a cloth hand wrap and a large bag of cotton balls. Trying not to cringe at the sight of blood she sat down beside Luke. He looked straight into Lorelai's

eyes, "Thanks."

"It was no problem I thought it was the best thing to do. Although I think half the town would want to thank you, I thought it was the right time to cause Luke Danes to disappear," she smiled blotting at the blood with the cotton ball.

Once the blood was mostly gone she placed four cotton balls on top of the spot where Taylor had cut him. Lorelai then started to wrap his hand slowly but surely.

"So what happened?" Lorelai asked looking up.

At Luke's uneasy look Lorelai quickly added, "You don't _have_ to tell me. Yah, if someone asked me what happened I'd just say I can't tell ya 'cause if Luke wanted ya to know he would have told me."

"I just lost it," Luke started, "You know I just wouldn't let him get away with one more of his lies."

"What do you mean?"

"It's just he said something about you…"

"Really," Lorelai stared at Luke maybe he was trying to … no that couldn't be right. But with that thought came the thought of the event.

"Luke would you like to go to this event with me."

"What?"

"Well Gran's in town cause of it and she said it's best if I have someone with and…"

"Yeah." Luke answered.

"Yeah what?"

"I'll go with you." Luke said again smirking.

"You will?" She said happily.

"I already answered that twice," Luke said trying not to sound to overly happy.

"Luke you're so good! I'll make it up somehow. But I forgot to mention one thing…" Lorelai stopped her joyous happy jumping.

"What?"

"Gran wants to meet you," she said a little uneasy.

"Oh, well than……I'll go see her than," Luke's smirk got wider.

"You will?"

"Please don't start that again."

Lorelai smiled maybe this wouldn't be that bad.

This refers to the 6 merry murderesses in the Cell Block Tango from the movie Chicago.

Well this chapter took a lot out of me, but I had so much fun writing this that it didn't matter. Well anyways what did you think? It was more than last time. So I thank you my reviewers so much, please read and review!

Your dedicated author,

Daine


	3. ISpy a Lie, People, and the DIoLG

Authoress Note-I'm so sorry to all my readers for not updating sooner. All in all this summer has been horrible I was gone for two weeks in an area that was hit by Denis to come home with a broken toe to then be shipped off again to a college to come home early because I was not fed for God knows how many days straight. And then my frakking computer wouldn't let me post till today for some reason. But anyways again I'm so sorry.

I dedicate this chapter to all of you out there who have stuck with me.

Now on with the show! I mean fic.

Disclaimer- I wish I had Gilmore Girls yet I don't. But maybe someday……

Chapter Three- I-Spy a Lie, People, and the Dizzying Intellect of Loralie Gilmore

Lorelai picked up the phone and took a deep breath then dialed 'the' number. Putting the phone to her ear she heard the phone ring.

"Hello, Lorelai is that you."

"Yeah, Gran it's me well I got a courtier." Lorelai stated a little reluctantly.

She could almost see Gran smirking on the other line. "Wonderful! That's wonderful! As you know I want to meet the chap. How is today at eight o'clock."

Reluctantly Lorelai conceded and hung up. Now only to tell Luke, this was relatively easy due to that Luke was only five steps away.

"So does my death notice have a date yet?" Luke stated a large smirk displayed on his face.

"Yah, eight tonight."

His smirk faded. "That soon."

"Hey I warned ya," Lorelai shrugged, "she's very persistent. Also don't try to lie it won't work she has an I-SPY a lie sense that could sniff out the most hard core lie concealer. And I just don't see you in that genre. "She thoughtfully added smiling.

"Well I better go get ready than." Luke started to walk out.

"Do you want a ride?"

"No."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"O.K. then"

Luke walked out. Lorelai smiled maybe she should have reminded him about the fight.

Two Hours Later

"I hate people." Luke stated when Lorelai answered the door.

"Hey I offered you a ride but _no_ manly men don't need rides." She paused noticing what Luke was wearing. "Man you look good."

A smile appeared on Luke's face. "Thanks. Us manly men do clean up nicely. "

"Yeah well O.K…. we need to get going Gran doesn't like anyone being late. And oh by the way if you see Babette run." Man how could he get her so off balance? Maybe…. no that wasn't possible. Lorelai paused hadn't Luke just asked her something.

"27!"

"What?"

Lorelai smirked. She still had it. Now Luke was going to pay for getting her off balance. (a.n. All bow down to the dizzying intellect of Lorelai Gilmore.)

"Ready to go?" Lorelai asked a bright smile on her face.

"Yeah sure." Luke opened the door to allow her to go out first. He paused a moment before closing the door then shook his head.

"Are you ready?"

"What?" Luke asked in confusion. But the word was ripped away into the wind as Lorelai pulled him along. Hell she was strong.

But the two figures were not quick enough for the eye of Babette .In 2.5 seconds Lorelai came to an abrupt stop and in 6.5 seconds was on the ground with Luke laying on top of her in a most awkward position.

He sat up a slight blush covering his cheeks, "Sorry."

Lorelai inwardly smiled at Luke's face. Never in her life had she seen him blush. A rasp shout was heard behind her and her smile suddenly turned to a grown.

"Sugar are you O.K.? I saw it all! And who is your Gentleman caller?" Babette quickly rushed over. And when Luke turned to face her, Babette's eyes almost popped out of her head like a rat that just saw a piece of cheese.

"I can't believe it! You're finally together! Patty and I have been waitin' for all these years! And when I heard that ya tackled Taylor," she motioned to Luke, "which by the way everyone is wishin' they were you, but I couldn't believe when I heard that ya did it cause of him insultin Lorelai. Man is Patty gonna want to here this." Babette suddenly ran back up into her house.

Both stood there for a few seconds trying to comprehend what just had happened. Luke recovered first. Smirking at Lorelai's face he took her hand and led her to his car. Making sure that she did not hit her head he slammed the door and walked around his truck and climbed in.

"What just happened?"

Luke started laughing as he started the engine and was driving away.

So what did ya think? I know short but still think next chapter is Gram vs. Luke which will be very long. O.K. now here's an opportune moment for you to control me the authoress. I've been thinking on bring back a boyfriend for Rory. You know to add an issue to the whole Grand scheme me, the voices in my head, and my dear beta reader have been cooking up so please tell me who if anyone you would like back or it will end up with me picking them out of a hat. Well have a good day!

Slainte!

Daine


	4. Gram, the Hobo, and Mrs Emily Gilmore

Disclaimer-Alas I do not own it. I want it I even put it on my wish list. My parents started laughing I don't know why. (Actually I do they think I'm crazy and they're absolutely right.)

So I again come to you at 12:34 a.m. with my special gift of another chapter of comedy and…. Comedy yah! Also I would like to thank LLrockmysocks for bring my spelling errors to my attention. I can be a bleating hardhead twit. And all of you out there who really get in the writing understand my meaning. Also lukelorelai-en you are not lame you rock because you reviewed. (If anyone's lame it's me or my beta.) So without further squabbling I bring you the amazing the marvelous Mr. Mistoffelees…wait I mean

Chapter Four- Gran, the Hobo, and Mrs. Emily Gilmore

Luke gawked at the extremely large house they had just pulled up to.

"You grew up here?"

"Yeah, couldn't figure out how to escape. Then I got pregnant. The answer was that simple," Lorelai smiled the initial shock of the earlier events forgotten.

Luke nodded unable to speak.

"Now come on Luke. Gran won't believe me if I tell her you're a mute. Just relax. Ya know loosey goosey."

"What?"

"Never mind we need to get in the house. Wow I can't believe I actually just said that," shaking her head she managed to pull Luke out of the Jeep and to the front door; as if sensing their presents Emily ripped open it.

"So you brought the hobo," Emily said grimly. "Well come in and lets get this over and done with.

Luke was ushered into a parlor were an older woman sat promptly in a chair a weary grin on her face.

"Well sit down young man. Emily, Lorelai leave us." In two seconds time Luke sat face-to-face with the now reigning Lorelai. "Excuse my daughter-in-law she does not know what an offensive way that she used that filthy word. "Hobo" what an unkind way to greet a guest. Well young man are you just going to sit there a gape at me or would you prefer to tell me your name?" the wily old woman's smile broadened as Luke snapped his focus to her.

"Lucas Danes," he had never felt this worried before about meeting someone. Yet this old woman took the cake. ( a.n. I wonder what kind.)

"From the way that you are looking at me Mr. Danes I would guess that you do not completely trust me." Gran paused yes this one was much more suitable for her granddaughter. More than that spineless jellyfish that she had been dating. This one had a back bone and would keep her somewhat contained without smothering her spirit. And then you had the most important quality he cared for her. Yes, even with the few minutes she had spent with this Lucas she could see that much. Her smile now went completely to her eyes, "Bright, that is what you are Mr. Danes."

Completely taken by surprise Luke smiled a bit, "Thank-you."

" Now I have one question for you and then I will make my final judgment on you as a courtier. It is simply this, what are your true intentions with Lorelai, and do not think of lying I will be able to tell."

Damn it. It couldn't be something simple. What should he say. Well he had noticed quite a few windows on his way in. Luke paused no that would be to painful. "Will this stay between you and me?"

"Of course it will this is a confidential meeting between the pair of us."

Letting out a drawn in breath he nodded. Well the truth was the best. What did they say 'If it doesn't kill you it only makes you stronger'. Heck he be dead then. "I want to be with Lorelai. She means a lot to me. And truthfully I want this to go farther than just the event." See that wasn't too hard.

"That was a truthful answer and I wish you well with your quest."

Relieved Luke sank into the couch.

"But there is one matter left."

He rose back up. What now.

"Although you look rather dashing in leather, it is not the proper attire for this event you will need a suit. So a suit you will get. I will also want Lorelai properly attired. Any day of this week pop on by with Lorelai and we will go shopping," nodding entirely too happy with this nights proceedings she motioned for Luke to take her arm and lead her out.

" Now let us see if Emily is on time with the dinner schedule for once in her life."

As they proceeded through the double doors Luke proudly showed off a smile at Lorelai's and Emily's astonished faces.

To add her usual flare to an event (and also to annoy Emily) Gran stated loud enough for the dead to hear, "Lorelai if you do not take this man I might just take him myself and find some useful chore he could do at my own estate."

Lorelai smiled and Emily was fuming oh what a wonderful night it was.

On the road again. I can't wait to be on the road again

( Authoress singing suddenly Amaruk pops out of now where Amaruk scolding-What did I say about randomly bursting out into song. Daine- Do not do it or people in white hospital scrubs will come and get me and lock me up. Amaruk-Right. Daine smiling- But this is my fic. Amaruksweat drop)

"I can't believe it. Gran took to you like molasses to wood." Lorelai was thoroughly impressed but sure as heck would not let him know it.

"I told you I wasn't going to be killed. See I still have charm," Luke smiled as the headlights bounced off the night black street.

"When in your whole life have you, Luke Danes, possessed charm?"

Luke's smile broadened. Oh in time she would find out just how 'charming' Luke Danes could be.

O.k. yes I know a bit short. But still I'm exhausted. So how was it. Huh give me details. I would like to see some reviews before I post the next chapter. Well I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I can promise you next chapter you will be on the floor laughing. (Yes my dear friend it is time for Dunk, Lunk, Runk, and the skunk to make there debut.)

So in the words of my Irish roots were I get my tale spinning roots from, Slainte!

Daine


	5. Dunk, Lunk, Runk, and a Skunk

Disclaimer- Gilmore-less yet again (sigh) if any of you want to go on in with me just call me.

So here I am with Chapter Five. (Dancing around. Pauses. Looks at Amaruk.) Oh yeah this chapter will be co-written with me best pal Amaruk Wolfheart of the Wraith. Now I'm betting you want to know why. Well here it is; she and I have this 'gathering' as we simply put it where we discuss new ideas when the idea of what our friends in Drama would be like if they were drunk came up. This topic then came over to one question, what would Luke be like if he drank 24 beers? And so this chapter was born. (Amaruk says: Brace yourselves for a little bit of insanity. ;) Have fun!)

And now we present you the fifth installment of this story

**Chapter Five: Dunk, Lunk, Runk**, **and a Skunk**

Luke Danes exited his diner. There was something different about him, something that made Taylor stop and stare. Luke was smiling – _really_ smiling – and not even the sight of Taylor's stupid ice cream horses could ruin his day. He was going to meet Lorelai to go get a suit, and he was looking forward to spending more time with her. (Not that he would ever admit that.)

"What's up suga'?" Babette asked as she was passing by Luke.

"Oh nothing Babette, I'm just going to go to Lorelai's house. Ya know for the whole Gran thing."

"Don't let this old broad stop ya from doin' what ya have ta do." Babette smirked to herself. Patty wasn't going to believe this.

Oblivious to the woman's devious look, Luke continued on his merry way. He turned the corner and jerked to an abrupt halt. No. He couldn't be seeing this. But it was too damn real not to be real. Man, he wasn't making sense. God, Luke Danes pull yourself together. He had shown all the obvious signs that he was interested, and then to see her kissing that jerk lame brain what was his name Jason.

Some little voice in his head, which he had suppressed and beaten down as he would Taylor, started chanting mercilessly, _How could any woman love you? The simple diner owner,_ _that's you, and you can't compete with a high paying white collar sort of man. You're stupid and pitiful and I'm sorry that I have to be the voice of reason, but hey some poor fool has to do it._

Grabbing his head and letting loose a long string of curses, Luke ran toward his diner - his one and only friend.

_(Lorelai's POV)_

God, this man never just accepted defeat, to show up at her house on the porch, when Luke was supposed to be coming over any time now. "Jason just leave! I told you the day you sue my father was the day that you would lose me, yet you went and did it anyway. Reality check, I am not some (1) diamond dog that comes at your beck and call. Leave now before I have to call the police."

"I told you I'm not leaving until I get you back." Jason sat down in a chair, physically backing up his statement.

"The sight of you is making me sick," Lorelai bitterly retorted.

"Really?" Before she realized it he grabbed her and was mauling her lips to the point that blood was now flowing steadily from them.

Thinking quickly, Lorelai's eyes darted around theporch looking for some weapon. If only she had some (2) arsenic! Grabbing a book, she smacked Jason as hard as she could in the back of his head. He slumped, and without further thought Lorelai dropped his limp form on the floor. Glancing at the book, she smiled. _All You Need is Gnomes -_ she would have to thank Babette for it the next time she saw her.

Later at the Gilmore residence, Lorelai was getting really worried. It was early evening now, and Luke had never shown up or even called to say he'd be late or couldn't go after all. Lorelai was heading for the phone to call the diner (for the third time) when the doorbell interrupted her. Irritated with this distraction, she hurried over and yanked open the door. She was shocked at the sight of Luke, looking much the worse for wear, swaying slightly on her doorstep.

"It is the East, and Lorelai is the sun!" Luke said by way of greeting.

"Come on inside, Luke. I think you need to sit down." Though Lorelai took him by the arm to support him, Luke stumbled as he entered the house and dropped a bag on the floor.

"What's the meaning of life?" he asked contemplatively as Lorelai settled him on the couch.

"Um, to live?" Lorelai muttered distractedly as she picked up Luke's bag and shut the door. A sudden gasp made her almost drop the bag, and she spun around to see Luke with a look of sheer enlightenment on his face.

"I have it!" he said breathlessly. "The meaning of life is... to live!"

Lorelai sighed. "Brilliant, Luke." She set the bag on the couch next to him. "How many beers did you have?" Luke held up two fingers on one hand and four on the other. "Six?"

"No!" He frowned impatiently. "Twenny-four!" He paused, then continued philosophically, "See, there are twenny-four hours in a day, and twenny-four beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not!"

Lorelai sighed. "So you're drunk."

"Yup," said Luke happily. "Drunk as a skunk in a trunk with a monk named Dunk." He paused. "That's short for Duncan. 'Cause Duncan doesn't rhyme with drunk." He paused again, then brightened, looking pleased with himself. "And you can be Lunk!"

"Er, thank you, I think."

Luke reached into the bag and pulled out a box (a.n. Which rhymes with fox! Man I'm starting to sound like I've had one too many Irish Whiskeys.). He presented it to Lorelai, who lifted the lid warily. Inside the box was a pair of ruby red stilettos with rhinestones.

"They reminded me of you," Luke explained. "Because they're pretty, and _you're _pretty, so it's like the twoof youwere meant for each other." His expression darkened, and he muttered, "Like _we_ were meant for each other, until that-" (here follows a few unprintable words) "-Jason came along.."

At this moment, with Lorelai holding a pair of outrageously bright red stilettos and Luke growling about Jason, Rory walked in.

Luke looked up and smiled. "Hello, Runk!" He gestured at Lorelai. "Meet Lunk! Dunk's still in the trunk with the skunk and some more beer, but I'll tell him you said hi."

Rory glanced toward her crazed mother, then at the drunk diner owner, and stepped back cautiously. "I'll be back in the morning. I'm staying at Lane's." Quickly, she exited and pulled the door shut behind her.

"Wait, Runk!" Luke cried out, trying to get to his feet. "This party's just getting started!" But he got no farther than that, and collapsed back on the couch.

Lorelai laughed to herself as she laid a blanket over Luke. He probably would remember nothing in the morning. Gingerly, she picked up the shoes, staring at them, and headed upstairs.

* * *

(1) Diamond dog- refering to the movie Moulin Rouge. They are Harold Zidler's Special line of dancers.

(2) Arsenic- refering to the musical Chicago (more merry murderesses).

Javamaniac- I do speak a little bit of Irish. Such as Hey lets go get some whiskey and some other phrases taught to me by my Nanny.

Rusty Bedsprings- It was my honor to dedicate a chapter to you. And thank you for the review ya rock my socks!

So yah what do ya think of me story? I have to say I'm I mean both of us are about ready to throw this computer out the window because it's so frakking stupid! So anyways I would like to personally thank my e-mail reviewer you flatter me with your remarks. Amaruk and I leave you now. (Amaruk: -grin- Yeah, we'll wait till Daine's done with the story before we defenestrate the computer. In the meantime, enjoy this chapter and have fun. –waves- Bye then!)

And Always Slainte

Daine


	6. Ireland, Babette, and the Event

Disclaimer- Alas no Gilmore Girls, but now I own seasons 1-5 now and have proceeded to watch every episode.

I was planning to post on Christmas day but that didn't work out. My arm has not been able to move properly for a while. Anyways I would like to thank everyone who reviewed and especially my e-mail reviewers. I have been asked how long I'm planning on having this go and if I'm doing a sequel. Well the answer is I don't know. It all depends how I'm going to stretch this out. People also have asked for more Sookie, Michel, and Kirk so I'm going to do that in the future.

And now on with the fic!

**Chapter 6- Ireland, Babette, and the Event**

Luke woke and wished he could just die. The whole of Ireland was river dancing on top of his frontal lobe. Disoriented he rolled over and was puzzled to find himself in Lorelai's living room. Sitting up he cursed as the room spun. Luke jumped and knocked over a lamp as Lorelai came around the corner a little too quickly.

"Man Luke what's with you and my lamps? Seriously you need to get that childhood aggression out in therapy." She plopped down on the couch holding a white paper bag.

"What's in there?" Luke tried to move his head toward the bag, but only succeeded in having Scotland join Ireland in their heavy tapping.

Smirking Lorelai held up the bag. "Only the best hangover foods in the world; curly fries, pancakes, and tacos."

Taking a taco out if the bag Luke took a bite. "What happened last night?"

"So you don't remember?"

"No."

"Really."

"Yes."

"What."

"No, I do not remember anything from after five last night." Sighing feeling better already Luke finished the taco and threw the wrapper in the bag.

"Then what _do_ you remember?"

Pausing Luke put a hand to his forehead; it started coming back. _Jason_. Standing up he paused a moment, to keep the floor in place, and continued out toward the door.

"Where are you going? You shouldn't be able to move that quickly after 24 beers!" Lorelai followed after him.

Luke stopped, any trace of a hangover was gone leaving only rage. "I don't want to inconvenience you and Jason."

"Jason? What!" Lorelai grabbed Luke's arm.

"I'm not going to ruin your When Harry met Sally moment." Stopping he tried to remove her hand.

"What are you talking about?" It seemed his dizzying intellect was making her dizzy.

Exasperated Luke looked Lorelai in her eyes. "I'm talking about you kissing Jason."

"Ooohhhhhh." She paused than smirked. "If you would please follow me shall clear this all up and please do remember to keep all arms and legs inside the vehicle while it is in motion." Pulling him toward the back porch she motioned to the sleeping form of Jason. "See, there is a use for big clunky coffee table books."

"So you and him aren't…" Luke trailed off.

"God no! Do you knock out guys you're dating with heavy objects?"

"Ritualistically I usually date girls." Luke crossed his arms across his chest in order to restrain himself from strangling the prone form that was Jason.

Lorelai suddenly was hit with a realization. (a.n. like getting hit by a duck falling from the sky. Or an anvil which ever one you prefer. Except now we bring up one of the great questions of life; Where have all the anvils gone?) _Luke's jealous, but why?_ _Could he? No but maybe… _ How could you prove a thing such as that without making a total idiot of yourself? There was only one way to find out. Dive in head first and hope that Emily Gilmore wasn't the one throwing the life preserve.

"Luke?"

"What?" The look in her eyes told him just seconds before she leaned over to him.

Her lips met his gently. She looped her arms around his neck to deepen the kiss. It took Luke a few seconds to respond from the initial shock of _him_, Luke Danes was being kissed by _her_, Lorelai Gilmore. He wrapped his arms around her waist pulling her closer. Luke shifted his head to change the angle of the kiss. Her lips formed into a smile. She drew back breathing heavily. _This was wonderful._

"Wow." The word slipped out before Lorelai could stop it.

Smiling Luke looked down at her. "Yeah, wow."

Then the most horrifying noise in the world was upon them. The sound of Babette's raspy voice ringing out like a bell. "Luke. Lorelai. I can't believe it! I saw ya talkin while I was lookin for Norbert. Then POW! Thought I was seein' things. I can't believe it!" she paused to hug the two of them, "I was just watin' for the two of ya to look at each other and see what ya both knew in the back of ya minds. Everybody's gonna be disappointed though 'cept for Patty she won the pool."

Luke looked at the short woman while he still held Lorelai around the waist. "What pool would that be?"

"How long it would take for the two of ya ta get tagether."

"Babette wait one second," Lorelai stopped _what would I want if I was Babette_, "I'll give you all the gossip on our relationship first. That Southside Sally won't know what hit her. But only if you keep this to yourself until we know what's happening."

Babette looked like a 10 year old boy on Christmas day. "All right suga'. I'll talk ta ya later." She sped back into her house, as a woman with a mission.

Smiling a bit she looked up at Luke. "We kissed." Her voice had a light kidding tone to it.

"Yeah we did." At Lorelai's worried look Luke pulled back from her. "We could forget this if you want to. I'm sure Babette wouldn't say anything if you told her."

A look of pure horror crossed Lorelai's face. "No, I don't want that unless you do. It's just that it's new. New and good."

"Your sure that your o.k. with this."

"Yeah, this should be interesting." Her smile was blinding _I kissed Luke._

"I have to get going but we _will_ talk later. Right." Luke looked at her making sure this had really happened.

"We have to; Gran wants to go shopping this afternoon."

Rolling his eyes, he covered his inward happiness. Luke could see the old woman's smirk when he would talk to her about this little event.

At the Dragonfly Inn

_Life was good. _Lorelai was in a good mood and had a large cup of Luke's coffee in her hand. Now she stood in front of Sookie and her's inn nothing could be better.

"Where have you been all this time? You have me here at 8'oclock in the morning and you get to waltz in at," Michel paused to glance at his watch, "10'oclock and on top of that you have not gotten me a desk yet! How am I to do business if I have no desk!"

"Calm down Michel." Lorelai had a mischievous look on her face.

"But you told me that my desk would be here this morning!" he was turning red now.

"Well I would be a liar then wouldn't I?" She pivoted and motioned to three very smelly men behind her to bring a large crate in.

"What's this?"

"A giraffe. What do you think? It's your desk."

Michel ran to her and hugged her. "Thank you, I no longer have to sit on the floor and wrinkle my expensive Italian slacks."

"Wow thanks Michel, but I really need to breathe to be this spectacular vision in front of you." Lorelai shrugged out of the embrace and back toward the kitchen.

Once safely around the corner. (Or so she thought.) She was instantly grabbed by Sookie and dragged over to the new sink. "Look at it. It's so shiny and new and it has that new sink smell."

"Yeah it's so sinky and stainless steely." Lorelai said looking at her overly excited friend.

"What that makes no…," Sookie looked up at her friend and instantly saw the golden glow that she was emitting. "What happened! Something big happened! Come on tell me! Tell me!" Sookie started hopping around the kitchen.

"Nothing happened."

"Liar, liar pants on fire!" Sookie said in a sing song voice still moving around. "Let me guess it has to do with a guy."

"Yeah it has to do with a guy." Lorelai's silly grin enlarged.

"Does he own a diner and dress in a flannel shirt and a backwards baseball cap." Sookie's eyes were the size of saucers.

"Yeah, how did you guess it was Kirk?"

Sookie stopped her joyous jumping to grab hold of Lorelai. "What happened with Luke!"

"Something."

"Come on tell me. What are best friends for?"

"To be there for you when you get your boyfriend. But then you walk in on them making out in your bedroom. You break up with him and they run away to Havana with all of your savings account." Lorelai paused her smile now took up most of her face.

"Seriously spill it."

"Luke and I kissed."

"YOU KISSED!"

Lorelai put her hand over Sookie's mouth. "Not so loud we…"

She was cut off by Sookie, "Where did it happen? When did it happen? How?"

"Slow down tex. It happened this morning, but we're keeping it quiet. We really haven't talked about it yet so please," she made a zipping gesture across her mouth.

"Of course, my lips are sealed." Sookie spun in a circle. "I can't believe it, it finally happened. It's so romantic. Luke waited eight years for you."

Lorelai sighed, "Eight years is a long time."

"It is. This is right, you know, the two of you together. It's nice."

"It's very nice." Lorelai smiled to herself. Who could've guessed that this would've happened to her a Gilmore? And with Luke of all people.

What did ya think? It's the longest chapter I've had so far. Please respond I want to hear from you guys out there. (Chirp, Chirp) You're out there somewhere. Right? Anyways it's late I tired and I'm going back to school tomorrow. And my 6 cups of coffee are wearing off. So me and my Java Junkies screen savers leave you now.

Slainte,

Daine


	7. Bugs Don't Talk, Chanel5, and Skulking

Disclaimer- Although I think it would be cool to be arrested for stalking and trespassing on Amy-Sherman Palladino's property, I mean if you're going to do that sort of stuff it might as well be on someone as brilliant and comical as Ms. Palladino, I'm not going that drastic… yet. In other words I really want Gilmore Girls, but I did not create nor do I own it.

Hello my dear readers! It's your almighty authoress coming to you at….12:51 a.m. at someplace in this universe with another chappy of Nextdoor. The only reason I'm still up and functioning is due to four things; 1) I am running on approximately 7 and 3/4cups of nice hot coffee 2) My beloved Moulin Rouge CD 3) My also beloved beta Amaruk Wolfheart and 4)…. You of course, my most beloved readers. Well anyway thank you all of you. I am absolutely horrible to all of you. I didn't mean to postpone this so long, but as they say stuff happens. Just to list a few…. nerve damage, two extra courses, demon siblings erasing chapters, a non boyfriend-girlfriend  
(although he thought so) friendship with my future stalker, the ending of said relationship, and much much more to put it simply my life has turned into a very _bad_ soap opera. Well now I end my crazy ranting with Chapter Squirrel of… wait I mean Chapter 7 …

**Chapter 7- Bugs don't talk, Chanel #5, and Skulking**

Luke picked up the phone in his diner for the forth time and dialed Lorelai's cell number for the forth time. The phone rang once ……..twice……..thrice……

(AN- Man do I love that bloody word!)

"Yo! Lorelai speaking."

As if the other party on the line was Taylor, on a lecturing day, Luke quickly hung up.

_Suck it up you're a man and what do men do...they certainly can call and talk to a girl!_ So for the fifth time Luke picked up the phone and dialed Lorelai's number.

"If your some kind of sick pervert just you wait! I'm dating this guy whose on steroids and is as big as a truck and if……."

"Lorelai it's Luke."

"Oh………….. So you're the sick pervert." There was an obvious smile in her voice.

"Yeah well I'm….. wait no I'm not. I was calling to see when I should come by your house. Or maybe you would like to meet at the diner?" _You're not a man. You're a bug. No, you're not even a bug. Bug's can at least talk coherently talk to women. _The voice in Luke's head mocked in a smooth tone. "Bugs can't talk."

"Well I'm aware of that. Luke are you ok? Ate too many salads lately." Lorelai's voice asked with slight concern.

"No….no, I'm alright."

"Well I'll be at your diner in about six point five seconds. I'm right outside."

Luke turned to see a grinning Lorelai. He hung up the phone and called to Caesar that he was leaving.

The bell on the door clang as it closed behind him. Kirk, sitting adjacent to the table Miss Patty was occupying, leaned over. "You know Luke's been acting very peculiar lately."

"Well you don't say." Patty's ears were wide open.

"Yeah, did you know he sent her flowers?"

A smirk crossed the dancer instructor's face. "So he did, did he?"

Luke quickly walked toward Lorelai, grabbed her hand, and proceeded to pull her around toward her Jeep.

"Luke could we slow down? When you walk fast in heels you kinda have the feeling your feet are falling off. And right at the moment it feels like we left them back at the diner."

"Sorry, I got a little carried away." Sheepishly he looked down at their joined hands. A smirk crossed his face as the sudden realization came that _she _was with _him_. "So what's the plan?"

Smiling, now that she was starting to feel her feet again, Lorelai looked up at him. "Well Gran wants to leave at 3:30 sharp. Now it's like 2:40. That means we have to go by Mount Doom to pick her up. Then after that we're off the hook."

Nodding Luke, slower this time, started to pull Lorelai towards her Jeep. It wouldn't be that bad to spend a few hours with Mrs. Gilmore.

"You invited _my_ daughter and the hobo over to go shopping." Emily was trying to keep calm, but was failing miserably.

"Emily please stop this persistent habit of calling Lucas a street vagabond. It is not civil to indicate that of any guest. And to the matter of inviting over _my_ granddaughter and her courtier that is none of your business now is it.?"

Huffing Emily exited the room leaving behind the heavy smell of Chanel #5. Turning her attention back to the book she had been reading, before she had been interrupted by her daughter-in-law, Gran paused a glint in her eyes. A wicked smile spread across her face similar to that of the other Lorelai when she had though of something quiet sinful.

Oh yes today would be delightful, she would get to play matchmaker again as she had with Richard, but this time it would go as planned. For this would be much easier the two were already half in love. The trouble would come when she must convince one that they loved the other.

Dragging her feet Lorelai approached Mount Doom and turned toward Luke. "You sure you want to go in Emily might be skulking in a corner somewhere. (AN-Just for you Amaruk)

"Yeah, I want to see your Grandmother again. I like her she actually talks to me and doesn't call me a hobo." _And actually wants me to pursue you, _he thought to himself.

"Well fine then ruin my fun plans of escaping." Leaning toward the door to knock, it was swung open by Emily before Lorelai could put knuckle to wood. "Mom! God what are you? Some kind of door psychic or something?"

"I don't have time to talk. I have to go to the DAR." Then Emily was in her car and driving away.

"Well that was certainly interesting." Luke stepped into the entry way to see a grinning Gran leaning on a black lacquered walking stick.

"Yes it was my dear boy. Would you mind helping me to the sitting room?"

Holding out her arm Luke rapped his around hers leading her left.

"Well Lorelai are you coming? Or should Lucas and I start talking without you?" Almost laughing Lorelai walked into the next room.

"Now unlike your mother you are actually early. This means we have a few minutes before the limo arrives."

"Limo?" Lorelai asked.

"Well yes. I thought a special occasion required something more extravagant than a regular car and driver. "

"What do we do now then?"

"We wait my dear child. Though not too long." Gran glanced over at Luke giving him a wink.

A quiet chuckle escaped the matron of the Gilmore clan. Yes this man was perfect for Lorelai for he had not seen her wink; he was too busy staring at her granddaughter. While her Granddaughter asked her what was so funny. Yes these two would make a smashing couple.

OK now I know it's rather short, but I promise you next chapter will be longer. And as a gift to you wonderful readers I will add an extra part that I did not intend to put in at first.And as always before, I leave you to go sleep, please R&R it's all we authoress and authors look forward to.

Slainte!

Daine


	8. Gran and Gnomes and Meat Cleavers Oh My!

So I am giving all you readers the authority to draw and quarter me. It has been a long time since I posted another chapter. I humbly apologize and beg forgiveness while prostrate at your feet.

And now that that is over….

Disclaimer- Still don't own it so please don't sue me!

This chapter of Nextdoor is being dedicated to a very loyal reader and writer Maara. Thank-you so much! You are totally wicked! It is an honor for me to give you this chapter.

And also I am giving you the very first…… (Dramatic pause) Garden Gnome Stuffed Plushie! (Yeah it's so super spiffy!)

Life has been very interesting while I was gone from you guys. The economy dropped out and with that so did my job as well as money for college. I changed my course of med school to Literature Prof. Went through a two relationships one good one bad. On top of all that I almost died when I went septic. And some how managed to find time to sleep. Well now without further due I give you the next chapter ….

**Chapter 8- Gran and Gnomes and Meat Cleavers. Oh My!**

Taylor Doose was a man of habit. He rose each day at the practical hour of 5:00 to then swing his feet out of bed to slip on his worn blue slippers which then matched his perfectly acceptable, that only revealed his figure in the best of shapes, blue robe that hung on the wall which was the next thing he put on.

From there he proceeded by taking his shower and performing other personal hygiene. One such habit was brushing his pearly white perfection of a smile for no less than two minutes and no more than three.

Yet fate is a funny thing. It had ordained, through a little intervention of a certain human, that this morning was not to be like the others.

As before he sat up to swing his feet out of bed, yet paused with the odd feeling he was being watched. Looking about the room Taylor was met with a horrible sight. Worse than the long haired hippy freaky or even then the local music man that insisted on loitering on public property. It was even worse then when Kirk had almost impaled himself on the may pole when he was doing one of his, "interpretive dances."

Gnomes.

There had to be at least fifty of them all holding something: a flower pot, a rake, a butterfly. No matter what it was it was equally horrific in nature with their mocking sinister smiles and their eyes always watchful.

A low moan came from his mouth and his stomach twisted. Who could have perceived his worst nightmare? There was but a few people in Stars hollow who had known of his phobia of garden gnomes, one of those being Babette who now littered her yard with them to keep him away. Darn that women!

Inching around the group huddled around his bed he sought to escape the little demons. Breathing deeply, eyes on the multitude of figures, Taylor twisted the door open. Quickly he spun whipping the door open quickly he rushed into the orderly bathroom. That as fate had it wasn't so orderly.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Screams echoed throughout the house and in the bathroom. The door smacked against the wall revealing a gnome grinning maliciously holding a meat cleaver…..

(AN- So that was my little fun bit for all you out there who feel Taylor gets under your skin.)

"Lorelai! Come forth! I will have been buried by the time you are done trying on this frock. What is taking you so long?" Gran sat upright in an overstuffed chair cane in hand.

"It could be the thirteen zippers, twenty- three buttons, and the three layers of fabric. It would take a compass, a bottle of rum, and Captain Jack Sparrow to get me in and out of this dress." (AN- I actually said this while dress shopping, for a very fancy upscale event, rather loudly and got quite a bit of laughter which did not help my black mood. Who made the rule that dresses must be infernally hard to get into?)

The distressed voice of Lorelai the second came from behind the stall where there was a constant flutter of those that had the unfortunate job at being at Lorelai Gilmore's disposal.

"That is no talk to come from a lady. Even though I must say that young actor, Johnny Depp, is certainly quite dashing despite the large quantity of alcohol which his character appears to imbibe."

Lorelai rolled her eyes as she emerged in a froth of midnight blue toile and silk, exasperated and a bit traumatized by her current state.

"Well…" She turned in a practiced circle that she had thought had been long forgotten and replaced by her incredible super ability to make the strongest coffee known to man.

"I do not like your tone young lady. One does not protest even through the greatest trials. Do you think I groaned when that hideous camel herder refused to sell the camels to me on my first trip to Egypt? No, I certainly did not. I said 'Good day' smiled turned around and bought camels from his competitor for twice the price I offered him. In such situations one must have a stoic quality about oneself. Now back to this frock, it is the right colour, but the shape and cut is all wrong. Try this one."

Gran motioned a servant forward with a gown of the same shade with less fabric. Standing there the younger of the two women contemplated another person's circumstance.

If this was her torture what her friend Luke was going through, which was interrupted by a 'Humph' and an "I will be long expired by the time this endeavor reaches its conclusion if we keep at this pace."

Walking the long plank back to the dressing room she smiled at least she was not alone in her misery.

**Meanwhile in the men section…….**

Luke Danes had never felt the need to go shopping, as any straight man feels the same unless it involved tools or sports equipment.

So it was a great surprise to find that his shopping experience had been a pleasant one which only lasted a few short minutes. He had tried on his first tux which fit perfectly and did not make him look like a penguin or a valet. Luke now held the package suit in one hand thinking.

This left him free as a bird, so to speak, which left him to complete an, "exceedingly imperative errand" that Gran had need to be done. Heading out of menswear Luke headed off aimlessly grumbling to himself why everyone needed so much stuff.

**Back with the Lorelai's……….**

After three more ordeals did the matriarch finally declare they had found "the one." Surprisingly Lorelai agreed with the choice, not only to get the hell out of there but also, because it was something she would actually wear.

Dress in tow the pair walked out only to collide with… (AN- come on you could probably guess…) Luke.

"Well what fortuitous timing young Lucas I have just had the sudden urge to take a nap. This day has been filled with too much excitement. You two though must go out and have a lovely meal. That is all you have been talking about Lorelai for the last half hour."

Gran looked back at Luke with a knowing look.

"Gran, unless you're hiding a spontaneous transporter under your dress, which is highly suspect might I add, how do you expect us to get back?"

"In expectation that occasions such as this should occur I always hire an extra car when I am traveling with friends. His name is David, a respectable gent, and he is parked out front awaiting you. Goodbye Lorelai, Lucas."

With that Gran left them a cunning smile on her lips as she went.

Lorelai somewhat shocked looked up at Luke.

"That was weird."

"Shocking, Lorelai Gilmore is lost for words." Smirking Luke took hers in his and guided her out to the front and into the limo.

"Wow, this has been a really interesting day. First you, then Gran being all Jedi like and disappearing. I don't know how much more thinking I can do..."

Seated in the back next to each other Luke's arm was already rapped around her waist. Her head rested on his shoulder as she continued to rant on. Luke was content for the first time in years, truly content. There was only one thing that could make it better.

"Lorelai."

"Yes."

She lifted her head from its position to be pulled close to Luke's their eyes were locked breath mingling together. A male smugness filled him as he caressed her hair and her face her eyes clouding.

"Don't think."

With that he closed the distance bringing their lips to meet, at first slow and caressing. Her hands ran up and down his spine just the soft touch of butterfly wings. His hands combed through her hair finally knotting in it and pulling her head back. The kiss increased in demand and it was only a few minutes till both of them were breathing heavily.

"Lorelai."

"Yes."

"You weren't thinking were you?" Arrogance was apparent in his voice, and Lorelai couldn't help knocking him down a notch.

"Yes, I was."

"Really?" His eyebrow was cocked.

"Couldn't tell? I was thinking about England, of course." With a laugh she caressed his unshaven jaw line. Things could be really crazy at times, but right now she had no complaints.

What did you think? I'm going to try to update more regularly now that I know where I'm going. Well it's really great to be back writing for you guys. I really did miss this over the two years. I need sleep as I've had no coffee. Shocking I know!

Slainte!

Daine


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